Friday, May 25, 2012

I feel like I'm falling apart

School just kills me. I seriously don't know what's wrong with me! When I first started I was fully participating, getting nearly 100% on everything, always turning everything in on time. Now I consistently turn things in late, barely eke out the minimum required participation, and even skip over some assignments entirely. For my government class we are supposed to do an essay every other week. I have yet to do a single one of them. I will honestly be lucky if I even pass this class at all. I will be happy with a D! When I do turn things in I get A's, so it's not like the work is too hard for me. I'm just awful at prioritizing my time and making the most of the time I have. I put everything off until the last minute and then am completely overwhelmed by everything I have to do.

Once again I'm coming up on needing to start another internship. I'm supposed to start in less than two weeks and I don't even have a meeting set up with anyone about establishing something! I have to do this internship next term, because if I don't then I will have to do it after the baby is here and I really don't want to do that, so that means I'll probably put off completing my internship for another year or so until I'm ready to put my youngest in any sort of regular daycare.

This past week I have legitimately been busy, with appointments and putting in a lot of extra hours with my internship to make up for not doing as much earlier on. So then when I get home I want to relax and not do anything, but there is so much I NEED to do! And I keep putting it all off.

I'm ready to be done with this year. It's nice to think about when this will all be over. In August I'll be done with my pregnancy and with my internships. I'll have one class left after that and then in October I will be completely done with my associates. Then no more school for a long time! And a few months after that Michael will come back from Korea and we will move to where ever we are going to next. I miss living with my husband so much. There is nothing that can take the place of the support he gives me, it makes this year really hard. After a rough day there's nothing I want more than to cuddle up with my husband. I love the girls' cuddles, but it's just not the same, lol.

I don't know how to make things better. It doesn't feel like anything I try really works.

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