Right about now is when it gets hard.

So being a stay at home mom, the only thing that really differentiates the weekdays from the weekends is my husband being home. With him gone, I've treated today like any other weekday. We're getting closer to the end of the work day and it's starting to sink in that he's not coming home tonight.

Today is McKaleigh's first birthday. I bought a little "cake for two." I tried to make it a somewhat special day for her, but it's just so hard when there's no one around to celebrate with. I hope next year is better, but Michael will once again be gone, so I don't see how it will be.

I wish I could be stronger, but I'm not, and I'd rather get this all out then bottle it all up.